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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25695325">Only You, Always You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarahannie91/pseuds/sarahannie91'>sarahannie91</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Law &amp; Order: SVU</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Inspired by Law &amp; Order: SVU, SVU - Freeform, Tuckson - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 07:40:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,993</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25695325</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarahannie91/pseuds/sarahannie91</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Pulling back with several small pecks on her lips, he looked down at her. "I love you", he repeated, emotion causing his voice to sound extra gruff. "But you need to figure out what you want." Set around the time of 18x05.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Olivia Benson/Ed Tucker</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Only You, Always You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is my take on how Tuckson's relationship was "complicated".</p><p>Also, I try to stick to the SVU timeline as much as possible but for story purposes, let's say heartfelt passages took place around the end of June and our story picks up around the beginning/middle of December.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lightening ripped through the sky, illuminating the dark bedroom before a roll of thunder crashed overhead. Looking over at the bedside clock, Olivia saw the red digital numbers shine in the dark. 2:46am. Turning over on her opposite side she stared at him; her gruff-voiced, silver-haired, devilishly handsome man. He was laying on his stomach, his strong arms folded under the pillow his face was buried in. His eyebrows were knitted together and his lips pursed, he was still tense even in his deep slumber.</p><p>Moving closer, she pressed her bare breasts against his warm flesh as she ran a light finger over his furrowed brow. She could see his eyes move under his closed lids before he slowly blinked them open. He groaned as his bleary eyes focused on her face.</p><p>"Hi", she whispered, her chin resting on his bulging bicep. A smile reached his eyes before they drifted closed again. She smiled to herself, the sound of the rain always lulled him to sleep.</p><p>Just as she was about to roll over, Ed was on top of her with his face buried in her neck. He laid there on top of her as if he were asleep, his arms wrapped around her shoulders as his weight pressed her into the mattress. "Someone's sleepy." She hummed, her fingernails trailing feather-light lines up and down the muscles of his back.</p><p>He groaned in confirmation, the vibration against her neck causing her to chuckle. She continued the repetitive motion of her hands, knowing how much he liked it. The thick muscles of his back rippled underneath her fingertips as she felt him twitch against her thigh. "You have a pretty quick reaction time there, Captain." She teased, her hands stopping just above the swell of his ass as she wiggled her hips against his.</p><p>Planting his hands on the bed, he propped himself up to look down at her. She couldn't help but smile at his appearance; his short gray hair in slight disarray, his eyelids heavy with sleep, his face faintly marked with lines from his pillowcase. "Tends to happen when I have a beautiful woman wrapped around me."</p><p>"Sounds like it happens to you pretty often", she mused. "Must be a popular guy."</p><p>He shrugged and looked to the side with his signature smirk planted on his face. "Don't worry, you're my favorite."</p><p>She scoffed and folded her arms across her chest in mock anger, blocking her bare breasts from his view. "Hey", he laughed, bending down so his face was closer to hers. "Only you", he whispered, nudging his nose against hers. "Always you." His voice, although gruff with sleep, was gentle and his tenderness made her heart ache.</p><p>Grabbing the back of his head, she pulled him to her until his lips collided with hers. She opened her mouth under his, allowing his tongue access as his hand threaded through her hair at the back of her head. He dropped down on top of her and she sighed contently under his welcome weight.</p><p>Her hands dug into the rippling muscles of his back as his mouth moved to her neck. His tongue and teeth teased the sensitive skin there causing her to let out a low moan. Bright light flooded the room and thunder crashed, drowning her moans.</p><p>Just as Ed's hands reached for her thighs to pull them higher, a soft cry filled the room causing both their movements to cease. His face fell into the crook of her neck as she threw her head back in frustration. Their labored breathing began to even out as Olivia's hand blindly searched the bedside table.</p><p>One of her hands was scratching the back of Ed's head as the other brought the video baby monitor into view. "Yeah, not a dream." She observed. "He's definitely awake."</p><p>Ed lifted his head from the crook of her neck to look at the screen as well. "Poor kid, thunder probably woke him up." She made a move to get up from the bed but he quickly stopped her. "I got him."</p><p>Sinking back into the pillows, she let out a content sigh as he climbed out of bed. She watched him pull on his gray sweatpants, the waistband resting right under the dimples at the small of his back. It never failed to amaze her how he kept himself in such great shape especially considering his age, the stress of his job and his love for bourbon. Nonetheless, there he was in all his shirtless, toned glory: her driven, smart, sweet, handsome... perfect man.</p><p>Catching her stare, he leaned down so he was practically nose to nose with her. "I know that look. Hold that thought." He smirked, swiftly pressing his lips against hers. "Don't fall back asleep."</p><p>Just as he stood to leave, Olivia grabbed his hand and he turned to face her. "Thank you." She whispered, her lips stretching into a small smile. The smirk he gave her made her heart flutter before he turned at left the room.</p><p>Falling back against the pillows, she hugged one to her chest as she watched the baby monitor that was propped up on her bedside table.</p><p>The door to Noah's room creaked open. "Mama?" His small voice squeaked.</p><p>"Hey, chief", Ed whispered as he cautiously stepped into the room.</p><p>He could see his tiny face crumble in the faint glow of the nightlight as he reached the bedside. "Tuck", Noah whined, reaching his arms up towards the older man.</p><p>Olivia's heart ached as she watched Ed lift her son off the bed and into his arms. Noah's thin arms squeezed his neck while his leg wrapped around his bare torso. "Did the storm wake you?" Ed asked, kissing his dark hair and he nodded his head in Ed's neck.</p><p>On the small grainy screen, Olivia watched as Ed laid down in bed with Noah explaining to him why thunder and lightning was not so scary at all. How clouds got electricity by rubbing together just like stockinged feet on a carpet, how lightning is the shock you get when you touch something metal and how thunder is just an extra loud zap. Noah followed along, asking questions as he started to understand.</p><p>With a promise to visit a science museum and a kiss on the forehead, Ed tucked the tired little boy into the covers as he saw his eyelids grow heavy. She saw him leave her son's room to reappear in her doorway seconds later.</p><p>Walking into the room, he caught her with a cheesy smile on her face as she hugged one of her pillows to her chest. "What?" He chuckled, looking back at her over his shoulder as he sat down on his side of the bed.</p><p>Crawling across the bed, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders from behind. He turned his head to the side, nuzzling his face against hers as he felt her nipples harden against his back. "Come here", she whispered, her soft lips moving against his ear.</p><p>Sitting back against the headboard, he pulled her on his lap as his eyes roamed over the expanse of her naked body. Her hands found his cheeks and she pressed her lips to his in several lingering pecks before opening her mouth over his. His fingertips dug into the soft flesh of her thighs as his tongue slipped into her mouth to toy with hers.</p><p>Running his hands up her body, his rough fingertips dipped into her hair as he slowly pulled away to look at her. His blue eyes searched her face as his thumbs ran over the shells of her ears soothingly. "I love that boy, Liv."</p><p>That caused a large smile to spread across her kiss-bruised lips, her breath coming over in soft pants. "He loves you too... Tuck." She teased, using the nickname her son had coined. He just continued to stare at her as his fingers traced the chords of her neck, something lingering on the tip of his tongue. "What is it?" She inquired, her voice soft. He just shook his head minutely in response. She nodded, leaning forward and kissing her way down his cheek to his neck. His hand found its way back into her hair as her mouth did work on his neck, his head falling back against the headboard. His lips twitched as unspoken words threatened to to spill out, the only thing stopping them was his apprehension.</p><p>Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath and mustered up the courage to speak. "I want to adopt Noah." As soon as the words left his mouth, her lips stilled on his neck. She pulled back warily, her eyes moving up slowly to meet his.</p><p>Before he could explain himself, she climbed off the bed and hurriedly moved to pull on his NYPD t-shirt before slipping on her thin cotton robe. "Liv?" He questioned at her hasty movements as he moved to the edge of the bed. He reached out his hand to touch her arm but she dodged his effort and bolted towards the living room.</p><p>Scrambling off the bed, he followed her out of the room. When he reached the living area, he found her with her back to him at the counter, the hem of his shirt reaching her mid-thigh. "Liv, what was that?" He asked, making his way into the kitchenette.</p><p>Sighing, she turned around with a mug of tea steeping between her hands. "Ed, you can't...", she trailed off.</p><p>"Can't what?" He asked, moving to stand in front of her. His fingertips lightly grabbed her wrists and she shrugged away from his touch, causing a pained look to cross his face.</p><p>Leaning against the perpendicular counter, he ran a hand down his face and braced his hands against the granite countertop behind him in an attempt to give her space. Several seconds passed before she spoke. "Noah and I are fine." She murmured, looking down into her mug. With his head still hung, he looked up at her out of the corner of his eye as he waited for her to continue. "We're not incomplete."</p><p>"I know that." He breathed, crossing his arms over his bare chest. "You're, you're perfect." He let out an emotionless laugh at how pathetic he sounded. "It's just- I love you and I love Noah and every kid needs a father."</p><p>"Says who?" She asked, still avoiding his gaze.</p><p>"This can make things easier on you... and Noah. He'll be with a sitter less and you'll be less stressed at work. Just think about how much different things would've turned out if your mother...", the words died on his lips as soon as they left his mouth. She slowly looked up at him, a look of hurt marring her beautiful features.</p><p>Turning around, she braced her hands against the counter and let her eyes fall shut. "I think you should go."</p><p>"Olivia", he whispered, walking up behind her.</p><p>Before he could reach out to her, she turned around and held her hands up in an attempt to stop any contact. "Ed, please... just go." He stood there for several moments and she hung her head to drop his gaze.</p><p>Nodding his head, he pressed her lips against her forehead causing her to close her eyes and take in a sharp breath. He walked over the the living room and grabbed one of his t shirts out of the laundry basket that was on the sofa, slipping it over his head. Glancing over to the kitchen, he saw Olivia exactly how he left her as he bent down to slip his boots on. He grabbed his jacket off the coatrack and headed out the door before looking back at her one last time.</p><p>At the sound of the door latching closed, she finally allowed her emotions to take over as several tears escaped her eyes, streaming down her cheeks.</p><hr/><p>Leaning back in her chair, Olivia stared at the vase of the yellow roses that awaited her arrival when she got to work that morning. She picked up the card that accompanied the bouquet, flipping it over in her hand before reading it for what felt like the millionth time. His familiar, messy scrawl made her heart race.</p><p>I'm sorry, I love you. -E</p><p>Her fingertips traced over the words, trying to reign in the emotions they evoked as she could practically hear them in his gruff voice. She stared at the card a moment longer before placing it in her desk drawer for safe keeping.</p><p>There was a firm knock on the door and she looked up, placing her dark rimmed glasses on top of her head. The door opened, revealing the man that had been running through her mind since he walked out of her apartment the night before. As anxious as she was to see him, she could help the flutter he heart felt as how cute he looked all bundled up.</p><p>"Lieutenant", he greeted, briefly looking back into the squad room before closing the door behind him. She acknowledged him with a small smile as her hands fiddled with a pen nervously. He shrugged off his winter dress coat and unwrapped the scarf from his neck, hanging them up on the rack by her door. "I see you got the flowers." He observed, shoving his hand in the pockets of his dress pants of his usual work suit as he nodded towards the arraignment.</p><p>Standing up from her chair, she made her way round her desk and leaned back against the sturdy wood, touching the petals of the roses lightly. "I did, they're beautiful. Thank you."</p><p>He looked down as he shuffled from foot to foot, his nerves getting the better of him. "Listen, Liv, I never meant to compare you to your mother", he began, clearing his throat against the hoarseness. "I would never do that..."</p><p>"It's a pretty sensitive subject, you don't know how often I wonder if I'm doing right by Noah...", She explained softly.</p><p>He stepped closer to her, causing her gaze to meet his. "You're an amazing mother. Noah is so lucky to have you... and so am I." Her eyes softened at his words. Glancing back over his shoulder, he made sure that the blinds to her office was closed before bringing his hand up to cup her cheek and pressing his lips to her forehead.</p><p>Closing her eyes at the feeling of his soft lips, she brought her hand up to hold his wrist as she pushed off the desk and folded into his body. His hand moved into her hair as his other arm enveloped her.</p><p>They stayed like that for several moments, just breathing into each other. He kissed her hair before moving his mouth to her ear. "Can we talk about why you're so reluctant to even discuss me adopting Noah?" He asked in the most non-confrontational tone he could muster. He felt her stiffen in his arms and had to fight the urge to kick himself. She backed away from him to lean against the desk, her eyes avoiding his gaze like a skittish dog. A thick silence hung between them for several beats. "Liv?"</p><p>Exhaling the breath she had been holding, she folded her arms across her chest. "What if... what if this doesn't work out?" Her voice was so small she had hoped that he didn't hear her but the look of hurt she saw when her eyes reluctantly met his told her he did.</p><p>"Really?" He let out in a cold, emotionless laugh. "Have I ever gave you a reason to think that I wasn't a hundred percent committed to this? To you?" He asked, his voice growing louder. When she didn't answer, he continued. "Someone really did a number on you."</p><p>Reaching up, she quickly swiped a tear away from the corner of her eye, hoping he wouldn't notice. He did. "It's complicated." She admitted, her quiet voice cracking.</p><p>It killed him to see her like this but he had the right to be angry and he could feel the anger rising up the back of his neck. "It's not complicated, it's simple! It's real simple!" He took in a breath in an attempt to calm himself before speaking again, this time softer. "It's been over four months, Liv... where's your ring?"</p><p>A fresh round of tears flooded her eyes as they met his, the sadness there almost too overwhelming to bare. She broke their gaze and looked down at her left ring finger, her thumb teasing the bare digit.</p><hr/><p>
  <em>Four and a half months ago...</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The sound of heavy breathing filled the room as Ed and Olivia laid on the bed, their naked limbs tangled together. She ran her fingers down the roughness of his cheek as she caught her breath. "Three times in two hours? I'm impressed, Tucker." She chuckled.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Giving her a breathless smile, he pushed the hair back from her sweaty forehead as his eyes searched her face. He memorized has every detail, every line and still every time he studied her face he found another thing to love about her. This time it was a pock mark hidden in the arch of her left eyebrow. Lifting his hand, he smooth his finger over the line of hair making sure he teased the tiny indent. His eyes caught hers and his mouth stretched in a bashful grim as he released she has been watching his exploration of her skin.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Leaning forward, he pressed his lips against hers briefly before dropping kisses along the expanse of her face. She smiled as she felt his lips whispering across her skin before hovering over her mouth. Her mouth opened under his anticipating the impending contact but it never came. "Marry me", he breathed, his lips moving against her open mouth as he spoke.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Olivia's eyes shot open to meet his and before she could answer his lips engulfed hers. She briefly succumbed to his passion before pressing her hands against his chest and pushing him away lightly. "Ed..."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Whenever I'm not with you, I ache to be near you, next to you, inside of you..." He growled the last part, burying his face in her neck.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Giggling, she grabbed his shoulders and pushed him lightly so she could look at him. "Is this all the bourbon talking?" She asked, rubbing his earlobe between her thumb and forefinger affectionately.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"No", he whispered, taking on a more serious tone. "I've wanted this, you, for years."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Her eyes widened as she realized the weight of what he was telling her. "Years?" She exhaled.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He nodded. "It's always been you, only you. You were an amazing detective with the purest of intentions." He explained, trailing his fingers down the chords of her neck. "It killed my when I had to arrest you for the murder of that scumbag biker."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The shock was slowly starting to process on her face. "You were always out to get us..."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Not you", he replied, kissing her pouting lips. "Stabler. It was so clear that you... had feelings for him. He didn't appreciate you. I would've given anything to..." She grabbed him by the back of the head and pulled his lips to hers, swallowing his remaining words. He let his weight press her into the mattress as her teeth nipped at the tissue of his bottom lip.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Releasing his lips, she smiled as he lazily opened his eyes. "I... thought I loved him." As the words left her mouth, she saw a twinge a jealous pass over his face. "But none of that even comes close to what I feel for you... right now in this moment." A smile spread across his lips as his hand came up to wipe away a tear that threatened to spill out the corner of her eye.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Then marry me", he repeated, his eyes searching the expanse of her face. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Her hands found the sides of his head, her thumbs stroking his rigid cheeks. "This is so spur of the moment, I don't want you to regret this in the morning." </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I would never regret this." He defended. A confused look crossed her face as he moved off of her and rummaged for something in the pocket of his discarded pants. She pushed herself up to sit against the headboard as he returned to kneel in front of her, in his hands a small wooden box. He opened the box and the diamond ring inside sparkled in the faint moonlight. The ring had hard edges but was nothing shy of gorgeous. Just like Ed. "I've had this for over a month. I was so close to doing this right after Dodds died, when we were on the riverwalk with Noah but I guess I chickened out. But I can't wait any longer." </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Looking up from the ring to his hopeful eyes, she realized in that moment that she would do anything he ever asked of her. "Yes", she whispered, her hands finding his which were still gripping the small box. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Really?" He asked, his lips forming the biggest smile she had ever seen. She nodded while pulling his lips to hers, momentarily forgetting the ring between them. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Tearing his lips from hers, he took the ring out of the box and slipped it on her slim finger. A small laugh escaped her lips as tears welled in her eyes. They both admired the way the diamond complimented her hand before his lips found hers again.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sinking down back onto the bed, Olivia smiled against his lips as his body covered hers. Her mind started to wander as he started to kiss his way down her neck. "Ed...", she muttered, trying to get his attention. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Hmm?", he mumbled against her neck. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I was just thinking...", she began and felt him still against her. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Pushing himself up, he looked down at her with a mischievous glint in his eyes. "That's never good."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She smacked his reddened chest before continuing. "Well, you haven't officially left IAB yet so maybe it's in our best interest to keep this between us, just for now."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The slight disappointment on his face was hard to miss and it pulled at her heart but he nodded in understanding. "Whatever you feel is right." He conceded. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Her fingers smoothed out the lines of tension on his face. "Just for a little while, I promise." He forced a smile and nodded in what he hoped was convincing agreement. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Grabbing the back of his head, she pulled him down so her mouth devoured his as her legs wrapped around his waist. He gave into her advances and sunk down into her, his tongue darting out to tangle with hers. Biting her bottom lip, he pushed his hips into hers causing her to moan loudly. "Again, Captain?" She teased against his lips, knowing how much it drove him crazy when she called him that especially in these intimate moments.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Growling, he pulled her leg higher against him while he attacked her neck causing her moan reverberated off the walls. In that moment, they were the only thing that mattered. The rest of the world could wait.</em>
</p><hr/><p>Sniffling, Olivia tried to fight the impending tears as she looked down at her fidgeting feet. Her fingers gripped the sturdy wood of the desk that she was leaning back against.</p><p>Hearing him shuffling closer, she looked up and was surprised to find him right in front of her. His lips were set in a hard line and the dejection that shone in his eyes made her feel about an inch tall. They stood there for what felt like hours until he did something that she never would have suspected.</p><p>Taking another step forward so he was pressed up against her, he took her face in his hands. His thumbs moved across her flushed cheeks as his mouth inched towards hers. "I love you." He mumbled against her lips, their breath mingling together. She opened her mouth to reply but before she had the chance his lips were on hers.</p><p>Their lips moved at a slow yet passionate pace, like lovers getting reacquainted. Her hands let go of the desk before latching onto the muscles of his lower back, his grip on him the only thing holding her up.</p><p>Pulling back with several small pecks on her lips, he looked down at her. "I love you", he repeated, emotion causing his voice to sound extra gruff. "But you need to figure out what you want."</p><p>In the blink of an eye, he was out of the embrace causing her to stumble back against the desk. She watched as he grabbed his scarf and jacket from the coat rack, not wanting him to leave but not knowing what to say. Once his outer garments were on, he glanced back at her over his shoulder one last time before leaving the room. As soon as the door shut, she finally let the sobs take over.</p><hr/><p>Sighing, Olivia hung her head as the rest of her squad walked away, leaving her in the courtroom hallway with Fin. This trial involving her former partner and a very convincing he-said, she-said was really taking its toll on her.</p><p>Placing a gently hand on her upper back, Fin leaned forward. "You doing okay?"</p><p>"Yeah, you know. Long week." She explained, trying her best to sound convincing.</p><p>He nodded in understanding, "Go home. You got a kid, you got a man."</p><p>"Yeah", she mumbled as she moved to walk passed him.</p><p>She stopped a few feet in front of him, her back to him. "How's that going? You and Tucker?"</p><p>Sighing, her eyes briefly fell closed before she tried to force a smile and turn back to Fin. "It's complicated." With that, she walked towards the elevator.</p><hr/><p>Handing Olivia a steeping mug of tea, Amanda Rollins sat down on her couch with her legs folded under her. She glanced down at her own steaming mug before looking at the scene in front of them. Jessie was bouncing in an exasaucer while Noah played with his cars on the carpet.</p><p>"Can I ask you something?" Olivia asked, her eyes not leaving the kids.</p><p>A small smirk pulled at the side of Amanda's mouth. "I have a feeling you're going to not matter what." She drawled, teasingly.</p><p>That caused the brunette to let out a small laugh before her face fell again. "Do you ever feel guilty for there not being a father figure in Jessie's life?"</p><p>She nodded in understanding, warming her fingers against her mug. "Uh, well, I knew from the beginning that there was a slim to none chance that Murphy would ever be in her life. And we know better than anybody that a father isn't always a positive influence in a child's life. With that being said, if there is someone who is reliable, loves me and Jessie and wants to dedicate his life to raising her as his own then who am I to deny her that?"</p><p>Olivia smiles sadly as she swiped the corner of her eye. She caught a glimpse of Noah rolling around on the ground as Frannie attacked his face with kisses, causing both the women to chuckle at his antics.</p><p>Their laughter dissipated and Amanda looked over at her friend. "What's going on, Liv?" She asked softly.</p><p>Clearing her throat, Olivia tried to gather her thoughts before speaking. "Ed, uh, he wants to take the next step but I don't know if it's the right time." She explained, placing her mug in the crevice of her folded legs so she could worry her hands together. "I've never gotten to this point in a relationship and I don't know what to do."</p><p>"I'm the first one to admit that we were all skeptical at first but there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that Tucker loves you... and Noah." The blonde explained, causing her boss to smile sadly. "With all due respect, Liv, I think you need to stop punishing him for other men's mistakes. He's done nothing but love and support you."</p><p>She wiped the corner of her eyes while tears spilled out. "You're right."</p><p>Reaching over, Amanda grabbed her hand. "Tucker would make a great dad."</p><p>"I know he would." Olivia sniffled. A picture of the mantle caught her attention. It was a shot of Carisi sound asleep on the couch with Jessie snuggled against his chest. "So would Carisi."</p><p>Amanda followed her gaze and blushed when her eyes landed on the photo. "Yeah, he would." She shrugged. "Whoever snags him is a lucky girl."</p><hr/><p>Adjusting the last of the ornaments on the tree, Olivia looked around at her apartment that she had just finished decking out for the upcoming holiday. The whole apartment was dim save for the soft white light strung around the tree and along the mantle. Under any other circumstances, she would have felt completely at ease in this moment but now, something was missing.</p><p>Checking her watch, she felt a tinge of anxiety rise in the back of her neck. He was supposed to be here by now. As soon as that thought crossed her mind, she heard the key turn in the lock and she looked up to find Ed in the doorway. He held up the key, forcing a smile. "Hope it's okay that I used this."</p><p>Nodding her head once, she gave him a small smile. "Of course."</p><p>After taking his coat off, he slowly shuffled further into the apartment as he checked out the festive decorations. He noted the lit tree, several red candles and two stockings hanging on the mantle reading "Mommy" and "Noah". "Wow, it looks great in here, Liv." He surveyed, his smile not quite reaching his eyes.</p><p>Her eyes travelled down his body, he was wearing a gray sweater and fitted blue jeans and she could not find him more attractive. They stood a mere few feet away from each other as they awkwardly shuffled from foot to foot, not sure what they should do.</p><p>As if sensing their uneasiness, Noah came tearing into the living area. "Tuck!" he squealed, crashing into the man's legs.</p><p>Bending down, Ed picked up the little boy and hugged him tightly to his chest. "Oh, I missed you, Chief." He whispered, kissing his dark hair. His eyes caught Olivia's briefly and he could notice the longing there as she watched them.</p><p>Sitting down on the couch, she folded her legging-covered legs under her body as she settled in. "Hey, No", she called as Ed placed him on the ground, ruffling his hair. The small boy's head whipped around at his mother calling him. "Do you want to go get the gift we have for Tuck?"</p><p>Nodding his head excitedly, Noah bolted back into the bedroom. She tugged on the oversized sweater she was wearing self consciously as Ed sat down on the couch as well, a foot or so between them. He sat there stiffly, his long fingers drumming against his knee.</p><p>Reaching over, Olivia grabbed his fidgeting hand and laced their fingers together. He looked over at her, surprise and... hope registering on his face. Bringing his hand to her mouth, he pressed her lips against the back of his hand. "I've missed you, handsome." She whispered, holding his hand to her chest. His face softened as he scooted closer, wrapped his arm around her shoulder while their fingers still intertwined.</p><p>Tiny footprints padded into the room and Noah reached the couch carrying a long thin, box. Ed looked from the box to Olivia with a curious look on his face. "It's for you", She smiled, winking at Noah. "Open it."</p><p>Olivia lifted Noah so he was sitting on her lap. Ed ripped the wrapping paper and took the top off of the box before peeling back the layers of tissue paper. He took a deep breath at what was inside, the corners of his mouth pulling upward. Inside the box was a red stocking, matching the ones that hung on the mantle, with the word 'Daddy' written across the top in Noah's messy scrawl.</p><p>He look at her with a confused look on his face causing her to chuckle as her hand reached to stroke his cheek while the other hung onto her son. "There's more." She smiled, nodding for him to continue.</p><p>Picking up the stocking, he looked inside and pulled out a professional looking stack of papers. Unfolding them, his hand came up to swipe over his mouth as his emotions threatened to get the better of him.</p><p>Petition for Adoption</p><p>"Really?" he asked, the emotion in his voice making his voice extra coarse. She could not help feel tears well in her eyes as she saw his began to mist over. She nodded as Ed reached for them, threading his hand through her hair as he pulled them into a firm hug. "Thank you, thank you", he whispered into her hair before kissing her neck, then her cheek and finally capturing her lips with his.</p><p>Holding his cheeks with her hands, she smiled between placing several kisses on his lips. "Yuck", Noah groaned, pressing a hand against both of their cheeks.</p><p>"Noah, sweetie, why don't you go hang this stocking next to the others." She laughed causing her son to hop off her lap and heading over towards the mantle. "Easy." She warned as he reached on his tippy toes.</p><p>Turning to Ed, her heart soared at the look on his face as he watched his soon-to-be son. "Ed", she whispered causing him to turn his attention to her. "I'm sorry about everything."</p><p>"You don't have to..." He began but was cut off by her soft fingertips against his lips.</p><p>Grabbing both of his hands, she held them in her lap. "I guess in some way I was a little jealous. I had to wait months and jump through so many hoops to adopt Noah and I just felt that it was unfair that someone can adopt him just a signature. But then I remembered it wasn't just anyone who would be signing a piece of paper and becoming his father; it was you." That caused the side of his mouth curve up. "Not only would Noah have a father, but we would be a family and that is all that I ever wanted."</p><p>"Are you sure about this, Liv?" He asked, his hand sifting through the papers.</p><p>Taking the papers out of his hands, she placed them on the coffee table and took his face between her hands. "I've never been more sure of anything, you're our missing piece." She reassured, her brown eyes darting between both of his. "Only you, always you." She whispered, pulling him closer so his forehead was against hers.</p><p>"Daddy!" Noah yelled in a silly voice as he ran and jumped on top of them. Ed caught him and hugged him close as they both collapsed against Olivia.</p><p>Laughing, she reached to the table behind her and grabbed a ball point pen, offering it to Ed. "All we need is one signature and we're all ours."</p><p>"All mine, huh?" He pondered, tickling Noah's stomach causing him to giggle loudly.</p><p>Grabbing the pen from her, he leaned forward and signed the appropriate lines without hesitation. Leaning towards Olivia who was sitting against the arm of the couch, he pressed his lips against hers in a firm kiss. He grabbed Noah and pulled him to lay on his chest while he laid back against Olivia's lap.</p><p>One of her hands reached forward and rubbed against his sweater clad chest while the other scratched his silver topped head. All three of them laid there on the couch in the faint light of the Christmas tree, listening to Christmas music and slowly becoming the family she had always dreamed of.</p>
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